Las Vegas, NV
The Grand Canyon and Vegas Mischief
Las Vegas, NV
Where to begin? I’m not really sure what Vegas does to people, but there is definitely something not quite right with that city. It pulses with a vibe that just seems to make people go a bit crazy. As soon as we arrived, Joel and I were affected and let’s just say, I’m glad that we were only going to stay for two days. I’m not sure that we could have lasted any longer. But I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.
On our way to Las Vegas, we stopped off at the Grand Canyon and let me just say that it was truly impressive. It is one of the few places that I have seen that lives up to the hype. Most big tourist attractions tend to let you down. I was not prepared for how absolutely massive it is. The canyon walls disappear from view amongst a myriad of smaller canyons and rivers. Condors cruise overhead and provide some pretty spectacular scenery. We did feel bad that we weren’t going to really explore the canyon and hike down into it, but maybe next time.
On the way into town, we stopped off at the Hoover dam, which is right outside of Vegas. Joel absolutely loved it. He has a fascination with all structures that are of the mega variety. I hated it. My fear of heights is getting worse and it was a truly mega structure. Looking over the edge made me want to vomit. It was also here where we really felt the desert heat for the first time.
With our touristy duties out of the way, we were ready to get up to no good. Our hotel, LVH, was a little off the strip, but it was cheap and surprisingly nice. As soon as we checked in, we headed down to the pool for a welcome cocktail. We were quietly sipping our drinks, when a man came over and introduced himself. Within five minutes of meeting him we had his entire life story. We found out that he was doing PR for websites of an adult nature as well as selling escorts. He later informed us that he was an escort himself and an actor in adult films.
As I have previously stated, I think that I might have a slight gambling problem, so Vegas was probably not the best holiday destination for me. Joel was very good at controlling my addiction. He gave me a limit and when that was gone, we were done with gambling. We lost $100 in 5 minutes at the roulette tables. Ooops. We decided to slow down a little bit and go try another casino. Stepping out of the casino, you are surrounded by hordes of other revellers grooving down the streets with drinks in hand. If you didn’t feel like partying when you stepped out of your hotel, you did now. We found another casino where we did a little better than at the first one, but still lost everything. You win some, you lose some.
With all of our gambling money gone, we decided to hit up the local gay bar, where Joel quickly made friends with the locals. They kidnapped us and lead us to another establishment called ‘Escape’. A long evening of shena****ns ensued with our new friends. We ended up getting back to the hotel at 4:30 a.m. a little poorer and a little dishevelled.
We awoke the next day after a very big sleep in and headed straight to the pool. We started with a couple of bloody Marys, which helped immensely. Our hustler friend showed up so he hung out with us for the majority of the day. He continued to regale us with tales from his profession. Unfortunately, as most of those tales are X-rated, I can’t share them on the blog, but just asks us the next time you see us and we’ll fill you in.
After a few oversize novelty beverages, we ended up joining a group of very pretentious girls in their private cabana. One in particular was very inebriated and made a bit of a spectacle of herself. It was at this point that we decided to call it a day. We headed back to the room, ordered pizza and went to bed, or passed out, very early.
We woke on our final day still feeling extremely dishevelled. We felt like Vegas had literally chewed us up and spat us out.
Thanks again for the great memories Vegas and to those thieving roulette tables. I’ll be back and I won’t lose again.